Loving Our Elders

It has been my great privilege to volunteer as a cantor for Jewish Family Services of Silicon Valley.   JFS dispatches service leaders to help our Jewish elders in residential care facilities experience Shabbat and High Holidays in community.  I love all the people I meet doing this work.  They know exactly what a cantor is and have wonderful memories from their childhoods.   They appreciate every "Kretch" and vocal ornament I do.  Some even complain that we don't cover enough of the liturgy or that we have too many contemporary melodies and not enough nusach.  It's a cantor's dream come true.

Most of the facilities I have visited in the last year are Christian-focused because of being run by actual religious institutions or because it is simply a reflection of how America is but on a very small scale.  Adult care facilities commonly run a weekly bible study, and hold Christian religious services.  One group I visit is large enough that it has professional leadership from more than one Christian denomination offering weekly services. 

As a result of this focus,  I've observed that the Jewish experience of residents in some places can be very limited.  For example,  I met a nearly non-verbal Holocaust survivor whose only contact with Judaism is the hour I provide per month and a menorah on the nurse's station in December.  Then there is the  resident who was a temple member for decades, who can no longer attend, and who is in a facility that doesn't support Jewish programming for its residents at all.

Those of us who are able to immerse in Jewish life whenever we wish, whether we are synagogue regulars or High Holiday only Jews, don't fully understand how lucky we are.  I can choose to have any kind of Jewish experience I want.  I can drop in or drop out.  I can fill up my tank and move forward in the secular world until I need to fill up again.

A friend said to me, "I live by the Jewish calendar.  I can't imagine living without it."  

Yet,  that is the reality in the San Francisco South Bay for many of our Jewish seniors in residential care.

Something else I've noticed is that the Christian-dominant culture in some facilities can also reflect the biases in the larger culture.  There is a lack of understanding among residents about other religious traditions.  It's possible to be in a facility with many different faith beliefs represented and to clearly witness that the  biases that exist in American culture don't necessarily soften with age.  

I plan a monthly program for Shabbat and holidays where I typically have far more Christian participants than Jews.   I've taught them all about the prayer service.  I've taken them through Amidah meditations.   They listened to the call of the shofar for Rosh Hashanah.  They have seen a printed Torah scroll open for Shavuot.  They ask me over and over again if the way we bless bread and wine is the same as what they do.  Through my work, I find that they become kinder and more tolerant of one another.  They thank me for sharing Jewish prayers because they know that prayer is happening, even if it is in another language.

The work we, as Jews, do combating bias can't stop at some arbitrary limit.  Our Jewish elders need us to reach out, to educate their caregivers and to pray with them.  We need to be conscious of the fact that their Jewish experience is no longer something they can control like we can. There is no way for them to learn Torah or listen to Jewish music from their youth.  They may speak Yiddish but never hear it.  They may be the only Jew.  During this High Holiday season, as we set intentions for ourselves, let's include reaching out to our Jewish elders, and see that their ability to maintain their Jewish identity in residential care facilities is supported.  Let's create opportunities for them to share their stories.  In a reality where synagogues are tasked with meeting the needs of many different populations, let's not forget to include a robust care program for our seniors.  They deserve it.

Jessica Leash is the organizer and cantor of Silicon Valley Jewish Meetup, a brand new community serving the San Francisco South Bay.  She will be ordained by Aleph Alliance for Jewish Renewal Ordination program in January of 2018.  This year, she is serving as the High Holiday cantor at Congregation Shir Ami in Castro Valley, CA.  To reach her, please email: cantor@ha-emek.org

If you would like to support her cantorial ordination fund, please visit her GoFundMe campaign at: https://www.gofundme.com/jessicas-cantorial-ordination